The process of character building is difficult and painful

Hebrews 5:8, “though He was a Son, yet He learned obedience by the things which He suffered.”

Right after I gave my life to God, He started to work on my character almost immediately. Previously, I was often disrespectful to my parents. Many times, I would raise my voice or lose my patience over issues which I am in disagreement with them.

However my conscience was made so tender by God after my conversion that I almost always immediately feel an uncomfortable nagging tug in my heart each time I raised my voice against my parents or my sister. The Holy Spirit living in me kept telling me to apologize to them regardless whether I am right or wrong in the particular situation. God just wanted me to do the right thing and I found it so difficult to humble myself and obey Him. My flesh was literally screaming at me saying, “NO!” However I still followed His instructions almost every time. As a result, during the first few months of my new believer life, I found myself apologizing to my dad so many times to the extent that I remembered once he shooed me off saying, “Please lah, stop shouting at me and then saying sorry the next moment. It does not mean anything.” I was hurt to hear that because I took the effort to humble myself. Nevertheless I pressed on and I realized each time I obeyed, there was a sense of release in my heart and I could also feel a sense of triumphant.

There were also times when I tried to bridge my relationship with him by deliberately taking the initiative to make simple conversations with him. It is weird when I kept infuriating him and at the same time trying to make small chats with him constantly. Under normal circumstances, I reckoned it would be better for people to just keep quiet and not to talk to each other at all, lest more quarrels erupt. However I felt that it would not be right to do so. So I continued to press on. I remembered clearly there was once when I tried to get my mum over the phone to pass the phone to dad so that I could talk to him on certain matters. However I overheard his frustrated voice in the background telling my mum, “Tell him I am busy, no time to talk with him lah.” I was really hurt by his words. To a certain extent, I believed part of his displeasure came from me becoming a Christian too. I remembered he made a comment during one of the Good Friday when my mum asked him whether the family was going out for lunch, saying, “Jesus suffers today so we go out to celebrate today.” I thought that was really unnecessary. Apart from my dad’s negative opinions on Christians, he was a very loving husband and a good, responsible father to me and my sister. His attitude towards me was probably due to my poor attitude towards him too.

However as time passes by, my relationship with my dad gradually became better and better. It was supernatural. Today our relationship has improved tremendously and I enjoyed my time with my dad together with my family over every weekends.

The process of character molding is certainly hard on the flesh but God knows that it is for the benefit of us. In retrospective, I was persecuted for doing the right thing. However God honors his children when they obey and continue to pursue the things of God. The lessons on perseverance from these experiences continues to serve as an important foundation of obedience and doing the right thing each time God calls. As the bible says in …

Hebrews 5:8, “though He was a Son, yet He learned obedience by the things which He suffered.”

God wants to use us but we need to be worthy vessels. I like what John C. Maxwell wrote in his book “Be All You Can Be!”: “… productive people are continually being pruned, going through this process that God uses to make us more fruitful. And God knows what to prune from our lives….God doesn’t mess around with the peripherals. He goes right in with His dynamite and blows up only areas in our lives that aren’t productive”

Amen.

Steve