My challenges in stepping out to receive the healing of God

This is a continuation of the healing testimony that I have written earlier: I received healing on my skin after months of skin irritation. There is something more which I have learnt from this experience. I believe every time a person decides to obey or step out of his comfort zone for God; be it for personal blessing or doing the works of God, he will grow in the knowledge of God as a result of his act of obedience.

As I was contemplating in my heart to step out to the front of the church to receive my healing that Sunday if my pastor asked for the sick to step out, there were thoughts that were discouraging me to do that; even as I was worshipping the Lord at the start of the church service with the expectations of receiving the healing later. Thoughts like: “If I step out, would people start to think why I had such a big problem that I need to be prayed over by the pastor? What was so grave that I couldn’t solve it myself? What if I was the only one to step out?”

Being a leader in church, thoughts even crept in like, “What if the church members think: “How could a leader step out to receive healing? Shouldn’t he be qualified enough to believe for healing? Is he qualified to even lead then?”

They could be my thoughts or they could be thoughts put into my mind by the devil. Regardless of the source, they were clearly trying to prevent me from receiving God’s best. Looking back, such thoughts might not be what people really think after all. However I could recognize the resistance of the flesh as I was contemplating.

Then when I have decided in my heart to step out to receive my healing, other thoughts started coming in, “What if nothing happens? What if the pastors prayed so fervently and I do not see any effect? What if I did not fall under the power of God? What if I really did fall and how long should I lie down? Would I look stupid” Again, I think all these thoughts revolve around human performance. These thoughts are not Christ driven.

2 Corinthians 10:5, “5 casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ,”

My desire was pure and I just want to get healed. I asked myself if getting healed is more important than my pride in not surrendering to God and stepping out of the crowd. The answer was yes. As a leader, I thought I should even set an example to show my members, especially the younger Christians that it was perfectly fine to step out to receive things of God through Pastor’s laying of hands; because I knew some of the members might feel shy in this area given our culture. To lead by example was a secondary part of my intention of stepping out as well.

As Pastor Amos puts it, humility is not a sign of weakness but a sign of strength. Surrendering to God brings blessing. In this case, I gave up my pride to receive my healing. Thank you Jesus.

Steve